1) Bore Me And Die
This is first because it MUST be the first consideration of any storyteller. It may not be the most “important” from a cosmic “will I be remembered when I die” sense, but it is first from a “will I even sell a book to anyone in the first place” sense. People come to fiction for many reasons, but the thread that runs through all them is this: they want entertainment. They want to experience new things, to go to places and see new things and be new people they have never been.
How many of you have ever looked for a new and exciting book? Whoa, don’t crowd me!
How many of you have ever gone on a quest for a boring book about things you do on a daily basis – something titled, perhaps, My Day Eating, Then Making Breakfast, Then Going to the Bathroom, Then Working a Lot at a Job I’m So-So About, Then Eating Some More, Maybe Another Bathroom Break (or Two Depending on if my Fiber Bagel Kicks in), Then Home, Then….
Yeah, you get the point. You probably phased out around the third “then” in the title. That was intentional.
You gotta excite your audience. Not just once, but over and over. Every page, and more than that (since pages for a lot of people are largely a function of how big or small they set their text function on their Nooks or Kindles), every sentence.
Bore me and I’ll put the book down.
Bore me and I’ll look for entertainment elsewhere.
Bore me and you’ve lost my interest as a reader.
Bore me… and die.